DARK AGE- ATLAS’S RISE AND FALL Chapter 1

War of Dark age give birth and end to the many legend and one of those legend is the tale of Atlas; this is the story about how he rises and how he falls.

 

Chapter 1

 

Mighty stellar battleships of the Empire hovered victoriously above the atmosphere of planet Immar, amidst the native’s once proud defense force, now a graveyard of debris and corpses. February 29, 119,006 AD was the marking of Immar’s greatest defeat, but for Emperor himself, the incursion was nothing more than a Tuesday’s work.

“Brave warriors,” came the Emperor’s deep, yet powerful voice over all the fleet’s communication. “You have served the Empire well this day. Your latest victory shall be one to remember as glorious! Songs shall be made of this conquest! Your children shall declare with pride, the might of the Empire!”

There a delay but afterwards the comms was flooded with praises and cheers towards the Empire, namely its current Emperor.

““Long live the Emperor!”” A host of men and women declared with fervor.

“Begin the occupation,” he declared soberly.

Thousands of star attack fighters and troop transports descended into the skies, signally to the helpless people down below that a new order has come. The peaceful lives of all Immarians, as they knew it, was over.

“Long live humanity,” the Emperor said to himself, watching in awe of the organized fleet proceeding towards every major city of this backwatered blue planet.

 

 

Year 119006 29 February in Imperial Calendar, planet Immar.

 

Government of Immar lost the war against the Great Imperial Empire. Everyone on the Immar was in fear biting their nail, crying in despair, that what fate wait for them.

 

Immar is done for, there is no further for us.

 

dame those imperials, they all are inhuman.

 

quite you fool do you wish to die.

 

Mommy what that.

 

that.... that, the imperial spacecraft.

(imperial spacecraft descending)

 

ahhhh there are here, they are here.

every one start running in order to hide, lock their doors closed all the windows, in mid of all the chaos, a young boy 10 or 9-year-old with long black hair pale white skin wearing the beggar cloth sitting on the side of the street with his head between his legs.

Imperial ship landed, a massive army of soldier wearing armors gear in shinning grey and blue in color following the guys in Grey and red armor gear who holds the rank of platoon leader, there were 12 platoon leader all of them leading their platoon, following the guy in Black Armor gear Kim Qin the commander of a battalion 65 regiment of imperial Army.

 

I wise if there were some pretty bitch here (some soldier say)

Hold that dick of your they're not even a fly in sight.

ah probably hidden in their houses.

 

look that kid.

Ha, so there are still some one gutty enough to not hide.

 

Hay brat you got some balls siting here, are you not afraid of us.

 

.................(No response)

 

Hay, I am talk to you, you shitty brat

 

.................(No response)

 

You fucking bastard I am talking to you (he said while pointing the gun at the boy in pissed mode)

 

.................(No response)

 

Boy look up, his face has no expression of neither joy and neither sorrow, it like he has no emotion, his eyes were red cold like looking for something which is not there.

 

"red eyes, he is a Nord "(try to pull the trigger)

 

Kid quickie move snatch the knife from the solider blat cut his arm than leg and then ripped his head off

 

wh... what.... haaaaa ekkkkekek (2nd solider shouts)

"he killed him, he actually killed him

No wait he is coming here

I have to do something, otherwise he will kill me.

gun yeah I have a gun, I will kill you fucking brat".

 

he points the gun at him and shoot,

bang,bang,bang!!

die you fucking son of a bitch die!!

 

he falls on the ground, lying by his face toward the ground.

 

take that you bastard that what happen when you mess with me.

 

What happen here, why are you shooting

 

Man, in Black Armor gear appear and said

 

Commander Kim that kid killed one of our man.

 

what kid kill one of our man you joking right (man following the commander Kim said)

they saw corpse of a man with his head off they were shock and ask

 

where is the kid?

sir that kid's body over there he is dead he tries to kill me so I shoot him down.

 

the kid suddenly stands up every body were shock that he didn't die.

 

how did he still alive?

yeah, there is no way he can survive like that.

 

(Commander Kim thought)" that.... he deflects the bullet with the knife at the last moment so it doesn't hit the critical point.

that seem impossible how did he pull this off even I can have difficulty doing that and that kid pull it off

his eyes are red he definitely a Nord, such red eyes for someone so young.

this kid, he is a genies, a natural born killer, he can even compare to those royal's fuck, if he gets right training, he can even surpass them, his expression is so cold like he has no emotion at all, just imagining his further-self is given me chills.

but it shames that I have to kill him, he killed one of the imperial solider and every one witness it if words get out the one imperial solider of my battalion was killed by a 10-year-old child I don't be able to show face and if his majesty know of than.... I don't want to think about it.

I have no choose but to kill him"

 

sorry kid but I have to kill you. (he points the gun at him and say)

 

A sudden change in air, a heavy pressure even hard to breath, everyone in army where in shock an in absolute fear.

and lightning strike on soldier who shot at the kid before.

 

(A heavy voice came from the sky)

I HAVE NO NEED OF SOME ONE WHO CAN'T EVEN DEFEAT A 10-YEAR-OLD CHILD.

 

Everyone was on the ground, kneeling in fear.

Hail to his Majesty The king of all beings the supreme ruler of great universe, monarch of Great Imperial Empire, The Emperor EVAAN T. AION.

 

KIM QIN! (name of the commander of a battalion).

 

yes, your majesty.

 

WHAT KIND OF MEN YOU HAVE TO BE KILLED BY A KID, YOU REALLY DISAPPOINT ME.

 

Please forgive me your Majesty, I it was my carelessness as a leader, I will remember punished them.

 

ALTHOUGH I AM A PUNISH ER BUT I AM FORGIVER AS WELL BECAUSE OF ACHIEVEMENT ON IMMAR AND YOU LOYALTY TOWARD ME I THE EVAAN T. AION FORGIVE YOU THIS ONCE.

 

Many thank O.Majesty the forgiving one, I promise you this lowly servant shall not be disappoint you again.

 

KIM QIN, THAT BRAVE KID STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL IMPERIAL SOLDIER THE DESPITE BEEN SO YOUNG TAKE HIM TO THE Nord, I WANT THAT KID HE IS GOING TO BE MY ..........................

BUT HE IS NOT READY YET ENROLL HIM TO THE IMPERIAL ACADEMY.

 

As you wish your majesty.

that kid......

 

STRONG CHILD WHERE YOUR PARENT.

 

Dead... (he silently replies).

 

WELL THAN AS FOR YOUR BRAVE, STRONG CHILD WITH SUCH RED EYES DESPITE BEEN AT SUCH YOUNG AGE BECAUSE OF YOUR COURAGEOUS ACT TODAY I THE EVAAN T. AION THE SUPREME KING OF THE GREAT UNIVERSE SHALL GRAND YOU A NAME.

 

What!

not just his majesty wants him to enter the imperial academy but also granting him a name.

Just who is that kid, been granted the name by none other than his majesty himself it an honor that even nobles don't get, and even if someone grand one, he had to achieved by accomplishing something extremely great and he been granted just like that.

 

FROM TODAY ON WARD YOU SHALL BE KNOWN AS AN ATLAS.

Year 119006 29 February in Imperial Calendar devil was born known as an Atlas, the wheel of fate start moving, nobody know that one day this name will be known throw out the universe  as a Demon knight of EVAAN .  Man who slaughter trillions of peoples without even a thread of emotion, feared by both friend and foe, he writes his name in history by blood.

Discussion (1)

  1. Justice

    My review of your story is going to be extremely harsh but is not intended to get you down or upset. Please keep this in mind regarding my opinion of your story.
    Your story needs to be overhauled from start to finish. It failed to paint a picture other then despair and pending oppression to a recently conquered planet. I, as a reader, do not know the people from Immar. Are they human or an alien species with green skin? I’m assuming they are human since they use February as a means of tracking time. Was this originally a colony of people from Earth or native humanoids?
    Is Immar a desert planet, a water planet, or a climate similar to Earth? Does it have rings around it? Is it bigger than the Earth? Why would anyone want to conquer it other then the leader looking at a map of the galaxy, point there and say: “Mine!”
    There is no indication of the planet’s technology level. The Immar have enough development for doors and windows, but what does the attached buildings to look like? Are they bubble houses or hobbit structures?
    More then 100,000 years from where humanity is currently is a significant jump into the future. You have to state where humanity is at in some sort of prologue or else get rid of the February usage. You as the writer have to paint the picture, we the readers can visualize. All I gathered was some kid surviving the impossible, daring to challenge a superior authority and somehow find immense favor.
    Your grammar needs work. Not only in sentence structure but in basic punctuation. Dialogue needs to be put within “-”. Your characters’ verbiage is stiff and incoherent. It was really difficult to follow along much less finish the story entirely.
    I added a little edit to the beginning of your story. I recommend updating your doc’s rights so that option is not available to the public unless you want folks to edit your work.

Comments are closed.

Discussion (1)

  1. Justice

    My review of your story is going to be extremely harsh but is not intended to get you down or upset. Please keep this in mind regarding my opinion of your story.
    Your story needs to be overhauled from start to finish. It failed to paint a picture other then despair and pending oppression to a recently conquered planet. I, as a reader, do not know the people from Immar. Are they human or an alien species with green skin? I’m assuming they are human since they use February as a means of tracking time. Was this originally a colony of people from Earth or native humanoids?
    Is Immar a desert planet, a water planet, or a climate similar to Earth? Does it have rings around it? Is it bigger than the Earth? Why would anyone want to conquer it other then the leader looking at a map of the galaxy, point there and say: “Mine!”
    There is no indication of the planet’s technology level. The Immar have enough development for doors and windows, but what does the attached buildings to look like? Are they bubble houses or hobbit structures?
    More then 100,000 years from where humanity is currently is a significant jump into the future. You have to state where humanity is at in some sort of prologue or else get rid of the February usage. You as the writer have to paint the picture, we the readers can visualize. All I gathered was some kid surviving the impossible, daring to challenge a superior authority and somehow find immense favor.
    Your grammar needs work. Not only in sentence structure but in basic punctuation. Dialogue needs to be put within “-”. Your characters’ verbiage is stiff and incoherent. It was really difficult to follow along much less finish the story entirely.
    I added a little edit to the beginning of your story. I recommend updating your doc’s rights so that option is not available to the public unless you want folks to edit your work.

Comments are closed.